


Bad Joke

by HeroicSpectre



Category: Deltarune (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Dark Comedy, Family, Gen, Humor, Mild Sexual Content, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 13:14:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16661715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeroicSpectre/pseuds/HeroicSpectre
Summary: Sans tells Kris a little joke.





	Bad Joke

"We just moved here," Sans said, "so I hardly know anyone. Why, got anyone I should know better?"

Hmm, who would've been a good friend for Sans? Although Kris had just met him, they had a strange feeling that he'd get along well with Mom. There was something about his smile. Kris had a hunch that Sans had a goofy sense of humor, the kind that Mom absolutely adored.

It was settled, then. Kris gave their answer. "My mom."

Sans closed his eyes. "Your mother, huh…? Too late." He winked. "I already 'befriended' your mom last night."

Kris froze solid.

…  _what?_

_What did he just say?_

_I already 'befriended' your mom last night._

Last night?  _Befriended?_ What on Earth did he mean by that? He couldn't have… n-no, no! Mom was a self-respecting woman! She would  _never_ just… go to bed with someone she'd just met! Mom wasn't like that! She…

" _Oh, Saaaans!" Mom moaned. "Your stamina is dramatically superior to Asgore's!"_

_Sans chuckled as he kept at it. "Heh, must be pretty bad."_

" _I-indeed!" Mom squealed with pleasure. "I swear, that pitiful man could not even last for a minute!"_

_Sans panted. "Ha… ha… sh-shame the bar was set so low for me."_

" _Oh, I used to feel so bad for discarding his flowers into the garbage bin! Now, however, I do not regret a thing!"_

" _Y-yeah, forget about him."_

" _I shall forget!"_

" _Like he never existed!"_

" _How can I remember such a pathetic welp when I have a fine skeleton like you to_ bone  _me!"_

" _Heh, heh, I'll show you a good time…"_

"She's great," Sans said. "Came to the –"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

With all their might, Kris slammed their fist into Sans's stupid smile. His skull flew off his body, flying right into the locked door behind him and falling onto the ground.

Kris's heart stopped. What the…? Sans was…?

Something red sprayed out of Sans's severed spinal cord like a geyser, splattering all over Kris's body. Wh-what? Blood? But monsters didn't have blood. Wait, that smell… ketchup? For a moment, Kris wondered if they had been pranked, like the time they had told Noelle that ICE-E was real and ate children. Maybe Sans was used to his head falling off. Temmie could take off her face, after all. It wasn't impossible.

Kris's hopes were dashed as Sans's body collapsed into powdery white dust. They screamed, yet Sans's head remained. The skeleton stared at them with shocked eye sockets. "Heh… didn't expect that punchline."

As Sans's skull turned to dust, tears welled up in Kris's eyes. They… they hadn't meant to…

Kris gained fifty-thousand EXP. Their LOVE increased to nineteen.

_Fifty-thousand?!_

They were LV 19? They didn't understand. Just one punch, and they were already on par with the most prolific serial killers? How?  _How?!_  Kris sobbed and collapsed to their knees, tears pouring down their face. They couldn't breathe. How had this happened? He was dead.  _He was dead!_  Sans may have pissed them off, but they hadn't meant to kill him. Even the weakest of monsters shouldn't have died so easily.

Did he only have one HP or something?


End file.
